If you’re in need of a quick confidence boost, all you need to do is take a look at the stories of these incompetent people:
Not Ready for Prime Time: Police quickly made an arrest in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to the man’s home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front yard. [Arizona Republic-AP, 5-30-08]
I don’t think this one needs any commentary. But I do give an A for effort. The fact that he was able to get the machine all the way to his house deserves a tiny bit of credit.
The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla., is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff’s detective said the man was “probably not familiar with handguns” because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the robbery. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-2-08]
The man had the gun pointed at himself and the bank workers still let him take the money? Really? If I were them, I would have kept badgering him until he decided to actually shoot.
Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient’s throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter’s wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-22-08]
Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me? I don’t what’s worse: the dentist dropping tools down a patient’s throat twice or the patient who decided to go back after the first time he did it.
